my birthday club

for my 30th birthday this year i was in new york.  i'm not totally ready to talk about that trip. it was a big deal for me. yes i was there to work, but i was also there to change, and more importantly be okay with that change. i spent a lot of time wandering, and a lot of time alone. but the universe is SUCH a beautiful thing and always seems to provide me with the exact kind of people at the exact moment i need them. at the very last minute i took on a session with these guys, the gonzaleses. a lead to b to c and somehow i was in their beautiful apartment on the morning of October 25th, blowing out a candle on a cupcake. they became my family for the day.  it was a perfect morning i'll never forget.

furthermore i want you to know that nicole and ivan were high school sweethearts. YES. its unbearably cute. we shot the first part of their session in front of the school where they met. 10 years later they are still in love and its the kind of love that lifts my heart and makes me like the world. plus they have their beautiful lucca to show for it.

lastly i kinda want you to know that nicole has something rad going on over here: http://blog.bluum.com/ and she is one of my fav grammers (you know instagram) find her at @bluumbabygirl

thanks for looking.

help uncle marty tell our story

images above taken by jonathan canlas in san francisco about a year and a half ago.

we were sitting in our therapists office. i was crying. a conclusion had finally been reached. the D word (we're still not able to say divorce in front of the kids). nothing felt real. the sense of failure and pain were a 1, 2 punch i didn't know how to move past.. and then there was my marty, my musician, making a joke, trying to softenthe blow just a little bit--

"and yan, i would just really like to thank you  because my third album is now going to be incredible. i've got a lot of excellent content...."

i laugh and shove him, then cry harder because i know its true. and it hurts. but in a slightly better way then before.

marty's third album (under the name of Quail) is our love story. how we fell apart. how we took care of  one other. how we're angry. which way he pulled, which way i pulled.  there is even a song that i wrote,  so that my perspective is represented --which i will sing with marty for-

if -

we can get the album made.

that's where you come in.

you've heard of kick starter right? its a rad company where people with worthy projects who might need a little extra help with funding have a chance to organize donations to that end. marty just launched his kickstarter last week here:

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/quail/quailthe-third-album

and i want to help him. maybe more than i've ever wanted anything before. call it penance, call it an urgency to hear our story from him (i haven't listened to raw cuts of his songs as i'm a little to vulnerable for just that yet) call it a desire to give a tiny bit back to the man who was the single most valuable tool in building yan photography from the ground up. he harnessed my creative dreams and i would like to do the same for him.

so here's how we do it. if you click on the link above you can choose to donate to the cause of marty recording his third album. i know a lot of you have fallen in love with him and his music over the years. i know christmas is upon us and money can be tight, but if you have anything to give, please help, and please tell your friends. i believe in marty and his talent with all my heart. i believe this album has potential for greatness and i want to see it made so badly.

just to help you get your footing here is a video he and i collaborated on. check it out. i know i'm obviously biased, but i really love it, and this is one of my fav songs.

thank you thank you thank you. not just for the money i would like to believe you're about to donate, but for the immense support, love, and kindness i have recieved during this whole D word process. its been a mother freaking doozy, to say the least. and please, if you know anyone else going through a divorce. be kind. reach out. share some love. they really need it. xoxo

 

 

suzy and vasili in love in chicago

its an oversimplification. and  its going to sound like an exaggeration but the bottomw line is that suzy and vasilis changed my life with their kindness and their love.

suzy is a rad shooter in chicago and you can see her work here. go! she's also a film shooter herself and busted out her old polaroid land camera for me to use for a few shots. my favorite was this (which i think sums up these two more than the rest. thanks so much suzy):